||||Resurrection

By Brian Chabot

These are some general (and sometimes tongue-in-cheek) guidelines adapted from “Net.Goth Rules” adapted from “Rules for Net.goth and the Boston Scene” originally posted to the net.goth list by Feline (who we hope will become a regular ar Resurrection…) sometime around Halloween 2003.

(Originally adapted from This list. )

1. Do not touch unless invited to do so.
2. If, without us recognizing you all too much, you decide to cause problems with one of us, be prepared for all of us to come to our friend’s aid. That’s why we enforce the dress code. It keeps the wrong people out.
3. If you cannot hold your own, don’t get in the pb&j war.
4. Everyone reads LJ. Do not post something mean to LJ and then be stunned when all of New England knows what you’ve said.
5. Geeking about computer bits is perfectly acceptable.
6. Hello Kitty is The Great Mouthless One. She has been known to create whole shopping trips just to buy things with her cute face on them.
7. See the really thin and flexible woman? No, she is not likely to sleep with you just because she can bend like that.
8. See the people doing the quirky and weird line dance that looks half-disco-ish? Yes, they do know they look like that. Note that they always do the dance to the same song.
9. If someone is wearing an outfit you like. they are not likely to be honest with you about where they got it. They might want to wear it to the club again without the fear of you showing up in the same thing.
10. Yes, a lot of the time the bathrooms are uni-sex. If this bothers you, tough.
11. Having mock-sex on the dancefloor is unnecessary. Go home.
12. Yes, those women might be making out. No, it does not mean they want to take you home with them.
13. Yes, that girl may be scantily clad, but it does not necessarily mean that she’s looking to take anyone home.
14. Be polite and get out of people’s way if they are trying to move through the crowd or you are trying to move through the crowd.
15. Count your change before walking away from the bar.
16. Invading someone else’s dance space without their permission can be considered grounds for war. Do not be surprised if you become more aquainted with a person’s elbows.
17. Standing on the dancefloor is unnecessary. It is called a dancefloor for a reason.
18. Do not make fun of the anyone dressed in pink. They got into the club dressed that way because they are more bad-ass than you.
19. If you’re expecting to find the perfect S.O. at the club, you have already failed, padawan.
20. The Law of Shroedinger’s Drama: all rumors you hear are neither true nor false until proven beyond a doubt to be one or the other.
21. The Law of Erotic Non-Existence: Face it, eventually you WILL become desensitized to the effects of half naked women in electrical tape and hot pants if you venture to the club enough. This has nothing to do with your sexuality or your age…
22. Do not make fun of women because of their weight (either smaller or larger). This is completely unnecessary. Just because you’re size X and they are size Y, it does not mean there has to be some sort of territory war.
23. If you drink alcohol, please tip the bartenders well. If you go long enough, you’ll find they remember you and give you better drinks the better you tip.
24. Drinking to stumbling excess while at the club is generally a bad social move. It can actually get you kicked out of the club.
25. Unless you’re on the dancefloor, no fists should fly and no kicks should be made. You will get kicked out.
26. See the guy with the big plume on his hat who looks a bit like a cross between a gothic pimp and a pirate? That’s Cusraque. He’s a retired promoter and rans two nights at Manray, the long-standing Hell nights and Sin.
27. If you see a person at the club you’ve seen naked online, it is not in good taste to tell them you masturbate to their picture. It just makes you creepy.
28. If the DJ or other staff member tells you to get off the dancefloor, it means you should. They are telling you for a reason.
29. Goths in the New England scene aren’t all as outcast as it seems. Many of us have decent paying jobs at established and mainstream companies where we have co-workers that talk to us and some of us even have friends outside “the scene.” Telling us how outcast you are and how no one understands you isn’t likely to make you any friends. It’s more likely to make us wonder what’s wrong with you. Hand. Staple. Forehead.
30. Cameras are not allowed in the club unless you’re on staff AND approved to take pics. It may seem like it to you, but this is not a tourist attraction.
31. Long-standing goths in “the scene” do not necessarily come out every week. Some of them lives to live and only come out occassionally. Do not assume someone is a newbie unless they act like one.
32. Don’t be offended if people do not recognize you. Some of us are old and don’t pay much attention anymore unless you somehow strike a chord in our heads.
33. Going to the club to pick up Sexy Death Chicks is a no-no.
34. Messing in a wrong sort of way with certain people can actually bring down the threat of bodily harm by some male members of “the scene.” You were warned.
35. While out in public do not make fun of someone because you think they are “pretending” at being goth. You may show up at the club some night and get socially ridiculed by them. They may actually have some social status in “the scene.”
36. Do not wear things that blink constantly and annoyingly on your clothes. It makes us want to put the fireflies out of their misery. It could also cause seizures, so be mindful of your fellow club-goers.
37. If you intend to dance at the club, when deciding what outfit to wear, test for “flashing” if you do not intend to show us that skin. It will help prevent embarassing situations later.
38. A woman standing confidently by herself while wearing a corset does not mean she’s trolling for submissives.
39. Wearing white is more than permitted as long as it is done, knowing full well that you will be a glowing beacon of light the whole club night.
40. Handfans are your friend and can be bought in Chinatown for cheap.
41. Please do not drink while on the dancefloor. Spills that people can slip on are hazards we don’t really need.
42. Just because someone isn’t dressed right doesn’t mean they’re clueless…for some, goth is still mostly a kind of music… And our door staff might make exceptions to the dress code for certain (usually important in some way) people. Just because they made an exception for Jax doesn’t mean they will make one for you. Deal with it.
43. It is possible to listen to the music, hang out with the people, and go to places where goths hang out without being goth. Don’t ask. It just is.
44. Arguing vehemently that you are not goth may indicate you are. The first stage is Denial.
45. Johnny Cash is the original Man In Black. Neil is ours.
46. Arguing with the door staff about dresscode is futile. Go home and change into something appropriate.
47. Goth does not mean poly or kinky or satanist or any other number of things that are sometimes assumed.